It's either sadness or euphoria

Title: Watching the Dark
Author: toolazytowork
Rating: Green Cortina (PG)
Word Count: 2073
Notes: Baby's first Life On Mars fic
cross posted to 1973flashfic and lifein1973

( We won't get hurt. )

Title On Bonnie Brae
Author toolazytowork
Pairing House/Wilson
Rating PG-13
Summary There's nothing left to do but wait. If you're lucky you have someone to wait with.
Warnings Apocafic.
Word Count 3230
Notes Big thanks to recrudescence for the beta.

( Activate emergency operations plan. )

You haven't been to House's House of Whining yet?
What the fuck is your problem?

HHOW is a friendly, accessible, fun for the whole family board that is mostly about talking about House without all that shitty fascism some sites like to promote.

Well, I'm a bit of a fascist, but I'm the most edgy dangerous mod and so I do what I want.
So there, nyah!


Join House's House of Whining and suffer my wrath!
It'll be fun.
I have lots of wrath.
Enough for everybody!
It's healthy to release that stuff, you know.
But most of the other people keep me in check.
Usually.

Just join, dammit.
It'll be fun.
For real.

Free Hat!

Title They Keep Killing Wilson
Author toolazytowork
Rating PG.
Summary 5 ways Wilson (poor, stupid, clumsy, unlucky Wilson) dies. And one way he escapes the icy fingers of Death.
Warnings Wilson dies
Word Count 1945
Notes Mostly absurd. Sometimes almost sad. But it's all Dead Wilson.
Stick around after the show for a word from our sponsors.

cross-posted to house_wilson and sick_wilson


( That time Wilson was exploded whilst setting off fireworks outside of House's apartment. )

( Longinus, you're not having any fun! Enjoy yourself! What is your preference? )

( I was reading a magazine and thinkin' 'bout a rock'n'roll song... )

( Where the Sidewalk Ends )

( A Taste of Honey )

( And the livin' is easy )

***

( A Word From Our Sponsor )

This is too great:

The owner of my darling little cottage in the ghetto just knocked on my door to give me my mail. I'd loaned her House S1on Tuesday. She'd been over helping install the stove whilst  I was watching and I mentioned I was sort of a fan.
She had the DVDs with her. I took my mail and DVD, thinking she'd been right turned off by the whole show-since she was returning it so soon.

"Can I borrow Season 2?"
"Already you're done with season 1?" (I like to talk like I am a Jewish deli owner.)
"Twenty hours, two days! I couldn't stop!"
"Awesome! Season 2 has a few episodes with even Moar Wilson! Do you like Wilson?" (this is, obviously, important)
"YEEE!!!  Wilson! I love him! Dead Poet's Society guy all grown up!"
"I KNOW! Robert Sean Leonard-How great is he?!"
"SO GREAT!"

So, that was fun.  Doing my part to spread the House love.

HUGE provided the link.
My life inspired the boredom.
I took the whole ridiculous 7 million question quiz-only to discover what I think anyone who's met me already knows.
The only surprise is how close the Slytherin/Ravenclaw scores are. The hat would have had to spend a few extra seconds on me.

NEVER LET IT BE SAID THAT I'M NOT BADASS!

I moved a refrigerator today.
With minimal help.
I am so made of bitchin' materials that it is almost scary.

Every bone in my body hurts.

I haven't had a decent night's sleep in weeks.

My boss told me to take Friday off. Probably because I'm just showing up at work at staring at the computer for 8 hours.

But I moved a 20 cubic ft refrigerator almost all by myself.

Except that Mexican guy who tipped it into the apt.

He helped a little.

ETA:  My dog is a biscuit stealing bastard. He stole my anise toast. I think I saw the Dark Mark on his paw. It's the only possible explanation.

I have a new addiction: http://www.singshot.com/index.html
Online karaoke. I am just that cool.
I spent an hour working my way through such classics as Devil Went Down to Georgia and Harper Valley PTA. Because I am OLD and live in COUNTRY MUSIC USA!

Here's a picture of a cat:
The infamous kitten.
You can call him Al.

That's what I call him.
I buy the food and clean his box. I can call him whatever the hell I want.
He showed up during a Quantum Leap marathon.
He's a born sidekick.
Adorable. Isn't he?


And speaking of adorable. Look at this pimp:


The Amazing Coupland the Wonder Dog King of America and Surrounding Environs. Wearing a lovely ensemble that really brings out his eyes. Don't you agree?
Yes. My dog has teh gheys. It happens. We're all cool with it.

"Coupland, you have tickets to see Cher and AC/DC on the same night! Who do you go see?"
"Choosing Cher just proves you're gay. Not that your dog is."
"Doesn't it prove that I'm a gay man?"
"Whatever."

Please note the extraordinary ugly 1970s floral Regulation Poor Person Couch. Classy, eh? All of my furniture is that nice. Livin' large. That is how I roll.

Meme thing, questions from topaz_eyes 
Anyone that wants to play, comment away. Otherwise, at least I SOUND busy.

1. Have you colored your hair? What color(s)?
I've been a platinum blonde, a redhead of every shade and once or twice gone a little goth-y with the black dye. Once, I tried to do that Kool Aid dye trick. My hair got a purple sheen, but it wasn't exactly punk. I looked more like Mrs. Slocum than anything else.

2. Which book has influenced you most in your life?
Probably Life After God by Douglas Coupland or The World According to Garp.
Happy books with positive, life affirming messages.

3. If I were to visit your city, which places should I definitely see?
You'd have to see the honky tonks on Broadway.Despite my local distaste for it, Tootsies is a must see. Coal Miner's Daughter and all the great country music movies have had scenes in Tootsies. It's only a few feet from the back door of the Ryman auditorium. The Mother Church of Country Music. You don't have to like country music to enjoy this stuff. It's more about the spectacle than anything else.
I'd also recommend the Parthenon at Centennial Park and for non-touristy fun you can't beat an evening at 5 Points with dinner at Margot or the Alley Cat.
Shopping is good at Hillsboro Village. Lovely little shops full of lovely little things.
I'd also highly recommend checking out the tourists. They're more amusing than any sight or sound this city has to offer. Fan Fair has got to be the scariest thing I've ever seen.

4. What is your idea of a perfect meal?
Sunday dinner with my folks. Mum's a vegetarian. The sister's a vegan. So Dad loves it when I visit, he has an excuse to make a real carnivore's feast.  He usually cooks up a pot roast or a pork tenderloin (or something quite like that-sometimes, I even get filet mignon and champagne-cuz I'm worth it) and we'd get some fresh corn and tomatoes if they were in season. Maybe he'd make an applesauce pie. We'd all gather round the table and watch the Simpsons and carry on conversations during commercial breaks.

5. What hobbies do you remember your mom having when you grew up?
Mum likes to knock down walls. That's what I remember her doing. Knocking stuff down. Building stuff up. Always in the midst of some crazy project. I didn't know that wasn't normal. Until I realized that, for my parents, it' s like an obsession. They can't just live somewhere. They have to CREATE it.
She and my dad were always remodeling the house. There's not a single wall (basement excluded) that was part of the original design of the house. In the years I lived there my bedroom moved so many times that I officially lived in every part of the house except the Master Bedroom (which was completed after I moved out)

My landlady-the Queen of the Stupid Old Bitches-told me today that she "Doesn't like the way I'm living my life." That I've "Been having a lot of strange people and strange animals over and just been acting very immature." AND IF I WASN'T HAPPY, MAYBE I SHOULD THINK ABOUT GOING SOMEWHERE ELSE.
In the last month exactly 1 person has been in my house. My sister. Who lived here for 3 months last year. Yeah, she's strange, but not like Madam Sandy Vag means, I'm sure. Yes, she brought her cats. Because SHE WAS EN ROUTE TO FUCKIN' HOUSTON! What was she supposed to do? Leave them in the car? Let them sleep in the yard?
And OK, yeh, I adopted Al the cat. But Al lives in a cat house and is no problem at all.
SHE EVEN HAD THE NERVE TO SAY THAT SOMETHING ABOUT COUPLAND BEING 'ALLOWED' TO BE HERE!
HE'S LIVED HERE FOR HALF THE TIME I HAVE ALMOST. I PAID A FUCKIN' PET DEPOSIT.
OH! AND SHE BROUGHT UP HOW SHE 'LET' ME HAVE BAXTER!
MY DOG THAT I HAD FOR 11 YEARS AND WHO I HAD LONG BEFORE I MOVED HERE.

WANT TO KNOW WHAT I THINK? I THINK SHE HAS A PROBLEM WITH THE FACT THAT I'M FRIENDLY WITH THEM NEGROES THAT LIVE IN THE HOUSE NEXT DOOR.(that's not a term I'd use-but since she's an ignorant old bitty, I suspect she would or worse) I DON'T CARE WHAT COLOR OR SEXUAL ORIENTATION OR ANYTHING ELSE ANYONE IS. PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE. I'M A DIRTY HIPPIE. IT'S PART OF MY MAKE UP.
WELL-I'M NOT REALLY THAT DIRTY. I'M QUITE CLEAN, ACTUALLY.

SO-ANYWAY! I've started looking for a new place. I want to be out of here by 1 August. AT THE LATEST. I'd move next Friday and give up half a month's rent to get away from her.
She had the nerve to call me immature. After she's spent the last 3 years treating me like a child. I won't go into the details. They're too long.

I've started looking for a place. And, I don't think I'll have TOO much of a problem. My credit's excellent. I have a good job. I've lived in the same place for 3 years and never paid my rent late or had a problem with my utilities. (Except that one time and I am not being paranoid when I say that was really as my the Stupid Bitch's fault as it was mine.) I'm educated. I'm likable. Blah, blah, blah. The sort of thing's people look for in a tenant.

I want to be able to sit out on my porch (or whatever) and listen to the Stones and grill some burgers and drink a beer and not have to worry my landlady is going to call the cops on me. (Something she's threatened to do-the one time I tried it.) I want to be able to have my windows and doors open without feeling like I'm being watched. I want to be treated with respect. I wantto be viewed as an adult. An equal.

ETA: I am very lucky in that my parents have said they'd help me with $$ (not that I need help, but I might take 'em up on it since they offered so that I can move sooner rather than later.) They're very supportive and on my side about this. Daddy laughed when Mummy told him that Stupid Bitch had insinuated that I was a crummy renter. He said he'd known me pretty much all my life and since I've been an adult he'd met very few people as easy to get along with as me.
ETA Pt. II: I also have an amazing (and so tolerant-what would I do without her?) friend talked me off the initial ledge and who has volunteered to help me move. She also has enlisted her husband and any friends they can find to help. She reckons we can be out of here in 15 minutes. But I should hang on to the apt key until 11:59 July 31st. Since I'm paid up until then. She also offered to have her cop friend call and tell my landlady to GTFO. AND to take Al until I got into a new place.

Don't worry-about a thing-every little thing-is gonna be alright.

It's Saturday night and that means it's time to go a little crazy. I'm a goin' meme-ing. Good times. Good times.

My folks sold their house. The one I grew up in. Where Baxter and Pepper and Henry are buried. Where I sat out on the deck and shucked endless ears of corn. Ran away from countless times. Ran back to just as often. Sang "Freebird" at my Grandma's wake. The house I lived in all my life, pretty much, til I moved here. They sold it. They're moving. I'll never be able to go home again.

My sister's moved to Houston. I'm in East Nashville 3 years next month. Not like there's any reason to keep that big old house. None at all.

That song meme everyone's doing. No one tagged me. I'm tagging no one. I'm just doin' a song meme. It's a distraction.

List seven songs you are into right now, no matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your LiveJournal along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.

Links are to YouTube if I can find the song there. If no link-no YouTube.

1) Wilco-Impossible Germany Oh Wilco. You're much too hip for one such as me. Why must I love you so?

2) Todd Snider-You Got Away With It (A Tale of Two Frat Brothers) (I'm in this video. Sitting on the floor in the lower right corner of the frame, mostly obscured by a shelf of CDs visible for about 2 seconds. Yeah, that's me.) *there's no video for The Devil You Know--a song that describes in perfect detail what it's like to live in my neighborhood. Because it takes place...in my neighborhood. That's too bad. It's an awesome song.

3) Steve Earle-Guitar Town On the 4th the sister bragged that she knew all the lyrics to this song. So we sang it. I live in a guitar town. And now she's in Texas. Almost a thousand miles from this guitar town.

4) Scott Bakula-Somewhere in the Night (I am very amused by the fact that the only version of this song I could find on YouTube was a fanvid of Doctor Who. That's funny. To me.) With this song, I hand in what little hipster cred my other picks might have given me.

5) Robbie Williams-Come Undone Yeah. I am so not cool. I ADORE Robbie Williams.

6) Billy Joel-Vienna I have a friend. Well, I have 2 or 3 at least, but I digress. The day after my 29th birthday, which resulted in an impromptu late night session of Maker's Mark and bullshit and me sleeping on the couch she sat down at the piano and started playing this song. I love Billy Joel and this is one of my favorite songs. This video includes the e'er popular 10 questions from Inside the Actor's Studio. Can someone tell me why Billy Joel was on Inside the Actor's Studio? I'm really SO not cool. Billy Joel, Robbie Williams and Scott Bakula. Honestly. I fail to rock.

7) Hayes Carll-Wish I Hadn't Stayed So Long This song is pretty much what I feel like every day. Hayes is amazing. Talented beyond reason and a complete sweetheart at that. Most of those earnest singer-songwriter chaps are.

3 songs I just want to share:

Tommy Womack-Flourescent Light Blues
Will Kimbrough-Act Like Nothin's Wrong
Black 47-Green Suede Shoes

I love Tommy, Will and Larry. They're amazing people. Just really wonderful. Consummate musicians. Good guys. Just fantastic human beings all around. They love their wives and their kids and they love to make music. I am in mad platonic love with anyone that wears their hearts on their sleeves. I envy people that can be that open and sincere. And they make damn fine music, too.

Not Cat People like that movie with the lady that turned into a cat when she was all hot and bothered. People with cats.

I acquired a kitten today. My neighbor dude (not the one that asked me out with the hella smooth line "Girl, you sure you won't go out with me sometime?"--the other one) caught him with a fishing net and put him in a shoe box and brought him over here. It is gray tiger and adorable. Probably about 5 weeks old. Very tiny. I know nothing about cats other than I have a strange urge to name this poor cat Mr. Burmie. Despite the fact that she is not Burmese and that would be funny to only me.

What am I supposed to do with a cat? I have kitty litter and kitten food. It's locked in the bathroom, because obviously, there's the Coupland issue to deal with. (He's a baby, but he might not like sharing me.)

I'm a little bummed that it appears to be female. I've always had boy pets. I can't name a lady cat Captain Jack. That's a kink in my plans.

And the Stupid Bitch that owns this house might have a problem with my Stray Cat acquisition. She has a problem remembering what year it is, though, so it should be a shortlived issue.

What am I supposed to do with a kitten? HELP!

Title: There You Are Again
Author: toolazytowork
Ship: House/Wilson
Genre: Crossover—Quantum Leap / House
Summary: Sam leaps into Wilson to prevent Wilson's fourth marriage from taking place, but House is starting to suspect something is up. What do Al and Ziggy have to say about this?
Prompt from betteronvicodin
Cross-posted to house_wilson and betteronvicodin
Rating: PG-13 (barely)
Words: 8825
Warnings/Spoilers: brief mentions of events from Season 3 of House
All of Quantum Leap
Author’s Note: Thanks to ana_rpm and julorean for all their beta/characterization/first reading awesomeness. Furthermore, thanks to bethctg2 and topaz_eyes for their assurances that the comma is not something to fear, and for all the technical pointers and nitpicking that helped me finally complete this story. Virtual cupcakes for you all.
If you've never seen Quantum Leap The Opening Credits will answer most of your questions. (If you were a fan, it's just fun.)


It is not everyday that we are needed. But at this place, at this moment in time, all mankind is us, whether we like it or not.-Samuel Beckett Waiting for Godot


To save a life, to change a heart, to make the right choice. I guess that's what life is all about.-Sam Beckett Mirror Image


( You've known her for less than three months. )

Title: Candy Everybody Wants (AKA-The One Where House and Wilson Have Every Kink Known to Man)
Author: toolazytowork
Ship: House/Wilson
Genre: Crack!PWP
Summary: The title says about it all. There is sex. House is kinky. Wilson is kinkier.
Rating: NC-17
Words: 1961
Warnings/Spoilers: None. It's crack-tacular
Author's Notes: I also love the crazy kinks people are willing to admit to. I feel so less alone. This is written with love. I'm sure I missed some awesome kinks, I apologize. I did my best.

( House...I don't think...Wison squirmed uncomortably. )

Title: Relative Motion-Pt. 8
Author:toolazytowork
Character/Pairing(s): House/Wilson
Word Count: 3297
Total Words: ~17555 (According to that great purveyor of truthiness, Wikipedia, this is a novella. Woo.)
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: When I grow up, I'm going to Bovine University
Summary: Wilson's moved and left no forwarding address
Author's Notes original prompt from the we_take_five challenge
Prompt: #42 velocity

Part 1-Gone
Part 2-Tom
Part 3-Assistance
Part 4-Wilson
Part 5-California
Part 6-The Waiting
Part 7-Predictable

( Displacement )

Title: Relative Motion Pt. 7
Author:toolazytowork
Character/Pairing(s): House/Wilson
Word Count: 3304
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: My dog's breath smells like dog food
Summary: Wilson's moved and left no forwarding address
Author's Notes original prompt from the we_take_five challenge
Prompt: #42 velocity

( Predictable )

Title: Relative Motion Pt. 6
Author:toolazytowork
Character/Pairing(s): House, Wilson(s)
Word Count: 2523
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Yadda. Yadda. Yadda.
Summary: Wilson's moved and left no forwarding address
Author's Notes original prompt from the we_take_five challenge
Prompt: #42 velocity

( The hardest part )

Title: Relative Motion Pt. 5
Author:toolazytowork
Character/Pairing(s): Wilson, House, Foreman, Chase, Cuddy
Word Count: 1966
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Still mine. Yep. That's why I live in such splendor.
Summary: Wilson's moved and left no forwarding address
Author's Notes original prompt from the we_take_five challenge
Prompt: #42 velocity

( Are you going to be all right? )

Title: Relative Motion Pt. 4
Author:toolazytowork
Character/Pairing(s): Wilson, House, Foreman
Word Count: ~1980
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Yep. I own House. And Harry Potter. And a lovely vacation home on the Moon that I share with Doctor Who.
Summary: Wilson's moved and left no forwarding address
Author's Notes original prompt from the we_take_five challenge
Prompt: #42 velocity
gracias to woodencoyote and ardenta4477 for insights and edits

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

( There is no bus station in Princeton )

Title: Sax and Violins
Author:toolazytowork
Character/Pairing(s): House/Wilson
Word Count: 2216
Rating: NC-17/PWP
Disclaimer: Yadda, yadda, yadda
Summary/Warning: Sex in public,very light bondage, more than necessary roughness, inappropriate use of a Volvo.
Second Person POV
Author's Notes I don't know what came over me.
Thanks for evila_elf for the read through

( Your face is smashed against a block wall. )